he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
