Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Go christen that room with your naked body.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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