i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
