you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
