saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
