Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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