In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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