these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
