Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
