I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
