Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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