I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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