Can i not drive my cunt home
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
