Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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