HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
