I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
