Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
