I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize