Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
