I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
