Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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