I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
