You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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