im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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