I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
