Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
