The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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