ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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