she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
