bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
