Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
