my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
