I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
