State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
