i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
