Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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