i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
