She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
