i barfeds in our rink
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
