how can u be prego again
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
