are you still at the devil's house?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
