I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
