I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel like death gave me a hand job
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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