What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
