Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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