She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
