sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I look better un-naked...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
