i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
