The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
