I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
