he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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